Misery Loves Real Estate

Real Estate simply put means “real property” and who doesn’t want a chunk of it? Let’s face it, we need shelter to survive, to expand, a place to put all of our “stuff” and boy do we have a lot of it.  In our “Go Big or Go Home” nation where size truly does matter and the more labels you own – whether they adorn your handbag, wallet, clothing or the hood of your car, the better.  Nothing says “I’ve made it” (or I haven’t) like the size and greatness of ones nest.

On the other side of the coin we’ll jump to a state called New York, home of what most refer to as “the greatest city in the world!” Manhattan! The Big Apple! New York City! Call it what you like, the fact is it’s a small island with big buildings that our ancestors traveled oceans across in search of new lives, boundless opportunities, great fortune, and inevitably those two treasured words – Real Estate.

I am a real estate agent in this enchanted city. For seven years I’ve worked for the same reputable and recognizable real estate firm, which I will not name.  I have and continue to earn a nice living selling and renting apartments.  In the process I see the good, the bad and the ugly come out of both clients and occasionally my fellow agents. This is primarily because buying, selling or renting a pad in NYC is unlike doing so anywhere else in the world. With so little inventory and sky high demand, finding a good apartment on a budget is like discovering a rare, exotic bird that you must sneak up on and capture before it flies away, or in agent jargon “flies off the market”.

I mean, where else are you required to prove that you earn at least 40x the monthly rent annually in order to rent a tiny $2,000 per month studio apartment with thin walls, old crusty appliances, and located 5 flights up in a pre-war building? If you don’t, you must have a guarantor (typically a relative) who can prove that they earn at least 80X the monthly rent annually to co-sign your lease. On top of that the amount of paperwork you must furnish is tantamount to what most people need to present to purchase a house in the rest of the United States. And that’s just renting.

If you’re representing a buyer, you better make sure that they’re armed with a suitcase of cash at the first open house, prepared to offer asking price (or higher if there’s a bidding war) in new construction condominiums.

Forget the dreaded Co-op purchase which, mind you, is not even considered “real” estate.  Rather you are merely paying to be a “shareholder” in the building.  A colleague of mine recently assembled nine, 500 page collated board packages for clients attempting to buy a 1200 sq ft, 2 bedroom in an Upper East side coop.  The purchase price is $1,575,000.  Next week said clients will go in front of 8 residents who live in this building, otherwise known as “the coop board”. This octet will either approve them or not based on who- knows- what reasoning. The prospective buyers are clearly financially qualified but perhaps someone on the board won’t like the color of their shoes or what University they attended 20 years ago in which case they’ll tell them nicely to get lost and good luck.  I of course hope they get approved for their sake but mostly for my colleague’s. The amount of work he’s done is tremendous and he hasn’t made a dime yet- and won’t, unless the almighty board deem them worthy enough to reside in their beloved building.

If you’re a sellers’ agent, well, consider yourself lucky.  It’s simply the best situation to be in because even if you have to hold 20 open houses and deal with impatient owners who unreasonably refuse to drop the price, eventually you will sell the apartment and earn a commission (unless of course they fire you and hire someone else. Then you’re screwed).

When I received my real estate license 7 years ago I was starry eyed and thrilled at the prospect of running around the city showing people with deep pockets beautiful glass houses while earning big commissions.  You see, prior to this I had a career in a completely different field from real estate. While I enjoyed a private office and a nice salary with benefits, I also had a boss from hell along with a constant headache accompanied by leg cramps from sitting and staring at a computer screen nine hours a day. The thought of being in charge and making my own schedule was (and still is) extremely appealing.

So I joined my firm and hit the ground running.  I spent weeks previewing and photographing hundreds of apartments. I gobbled up books on the business, religiously read the NY Times real estate section, went to industry events and was mentored by a seasoned agent. About 6 weeks into it I rented two apartments on the same day in the same building and 3 months later sold my first condo.

I still get impossibly happy when I close a deal. I feel giddy, victorious, accomplished and secure.  When I don’t close for one reason or another, I’m devastated. Not only because I don’t get paid but because inside I feel like an utter failure. I know this nasty feeling is irrational since I’m extremely hard-wo­­­­­­rking and efficient, a great negotiator without being obnoxious, one of the good guys in a sea of blood thirsty sharks.  My point is that when a deal goes bust, it’s out of my control.

We have mantras to tell each other in these times:

• “Don’t worry…you’ll get the next one!”
• “You can’t win ‘em all!”
• “It happens to the best of us!”
• “It’s all part of the business!”
•  “Shit happens!”
• “It is what it is!”
• “It’s a learning experience!”
• “All you can do is your best!”
• “Keep pushing!”
• “Don’t take it personally!”

I actually said the first one to someone today.

The last one is the toughest to swallow which is why I decided to start this blog.  The old adage “the customer’s always right” most of the time just isn’t true, although I’ll be the first to admit that customer service in general has gone down the tubes from what it was 20+ years ago.  That aside, whether you’re in sales or slinging cocktails, we put up with a lot from the masses. Since they have to pay us out of their own pockets for our services, some must squeeze every last ounce of joy, dignity and sanity from us until we are shells of our former selves. That way at least they’ve gotten their monies worth.  For the highly passionate ones, there are websites like Yelp where they can go to post scathing reviews about us and our respective firms. I’ve been lucky in my seven years as a real estate agent. Only once did I have a nitwit write something negative on Yelp and I sicked our legal team on them for slander.  The post was immediately taken down. If you don’t have proof (like I did) that the negative reviewer is unfairly smearing you, then you’re forever stuck with that scarlet letter.

The bottom line is this – whether you’re a rock star sales agent or lowly rental agent barely getting by, we all suffer fools daily.  Mantra #4 states, “It’s all part of the business”. That’s the truth. What I’ve learned in my 7 plus years is that to succeed you must be genuine, clever, shrewd, posses great equanimity, and get real used to rejection. I continue to practice these sensibilities but it’s not easy. Writing has been cathartic for me. Instead of keeping my thoughts and dealings locked up in my head, why not blog about it?! Besides, misery loves real estate.

Please email to share your stories too. Log on to read, comment, share, vent, and even brag. Yes folks – we’re allowed to bask in the glow of success from time to time and live to talk about it!

Thanks for logging on! I look forward to hearing from you.

AgentVoice