Lately real estate has kept me too busy to blog, hence I’m exhibiting all of these symptoms. By the end of this month I should be back in action with a few hair-raising stories to tell. In the meantime here is a miserably fun website to peruse: http://terriblerealestateagentphotos.com/
Category Archives: Share
Dunkin Donuts Iced Tea cup
So it was about 107 Fahrenheit and I had been up since 6:45 am confirming showings for the day. I had 2 inspections and went off for the day, knowing that it was going to be scorcher. I wore as little clothing as possible permitted as a professional. Sleeveless silk shirt, flats, and shorts. I went to the first inspection with a giant water bottle and sipped throughout the inspection, trying to keep hydrated. Dealt with that, no problem for 3 hours.
Felt a little dizzy by 11 am, when inspection had ended, and onto 3 showings until my 1:30 pm inspection. At this point we had to inspect a house, close to a body of water that had some issues with insects and mold. “Ok, no problem”, I thought. As we were all conferring in the kitchen, in this heat wave, with sky lights, baking in the kitchen, no ac, no fan, no nothin’, I got very light headed, realized I was going to faint, or die, or vomit so I decided to excuse myself and go sit in my car with the AC on full blast. “Oh, I’m so sorry” I explained. “I just received an urgent call from another client, I’ll be right back”, so I go and sit in my car, start to feel a little better, and then EVERYONE from the inspection walks out.
The inspector, my clients, the seller, the family of the buyer. They are all talking and walking towards my car, when I realize I’m going to puke. I have two options. Open the door and vomit on the property I’m trying to sell, OR, grab one of the empty Dunkin Donuts plastic iced tea cups from earlier in the day.
I choose the latter, and pretend I’m looking for something on the floor and puke my guts out in the cup. I wipe my face, pop a mint redo my ponytail, and step out of the car, eager to negotiate with the seller…….. And away we go.
- Heather, Boston MA
I’m an NYC associate broker who had one of the looooongest and strangest closings ever, and one I’ll never forget…
The morning of the closing arrived so I met the buyers and the sellers agent at the building for the walk through. Although we knew there had been a tenant in place who was supposed to move out weeks ago, my buyers and I were still apprehensive since we wouldn’t know for sure until we saw it with our own eyes.
What did we find behind the door? A fully inhabited apartment – all 1,700 sq ft of it – with big, heavy furniture. Great! The closing was in an hour and a half, and this guy hadn’t moved a thing. He was there and assured us he’d be out soon. I’m starting to sweat but knew I would do whatever it took to get him out so we could close that day.
The sellers agent didn’t seem to care even though this was his problem too. More about him later.
As an experienced agent, I did everything in my power to keep my buyers calm. As we left the apartment, I called the buyers attorney so he could inform the sellers attorney in advance that we had a problem.
Off to the closing.
It’s now 1pm. The closing begins and it was tense. To make matters worse, the sellers agent decides to check out by putting his feet up on the closing table, crossing his legs, and opens the NY Times full spread. It was hard to believe. My buyers wanted to tear his head off. So did I. We proceeded with the closing knowing that the buyers would need confirmation that the tenant had moved out before signing the very last document. So I called the front desk of the building and asked the doorman if the tenant had moved out. He said no.
It’s now 3:30. A ‘normal’ closing would have finished by now. But not this one.
With my buyers growing more and more concerned, I decided to take matters into my own hands so I left the closing to check on the status.
When I got there the moving truck was outside and three movers were in the apt packing and preparing to move out. With so much to be done, I took my suit jacket off, rolled up my sleeves, and w the tenants permission got to work – packing, boxing, moving, and sweeping. Yes, sweeping.
Two and a half hours later (6:30) we were finished. I called my buyers to give them the good news and they were relieved and happy to finally have the keys. They signed the last document and were now the proud new owners of this beautiful $2.5MM home…no thanks to the sellers agent who read the paper throughout the entire closing. Jackass!
- Jeffrey R. NYC Associate Broker
I don’t know how I’m just now coming across this article published August 7th in The Read Deal entitled Million dollar listing would be star speaks out, but I wish that every client who watches this contrived, yet admittedly entertaining show would read it because Million Dollar listing NY is about as authentic as imitation crab meat. I can’t tell you how many buyers and sellers have major misconceptions about the Manhattan market and how business is conducted due to watching this spurious show. If I have to hear a client say to me one more time: “Oh… I know how it works, I watch Million Dollar Listing!” I might just scream.
Fredrik Eklund of Million Dollar Listing NY
My co-op seeking buyers and I ventured out again last Sunday to find a plan “B” and possibly “C” in case the seller of their initial choice doesn’t accept our terms. Surprisingly, she did come back with a counter that my sellers agreed to, but won’t budge when it comes to letting them have a mortgage contingency and so we are at a stand still.
We did in fact find plan “B” and “C” in the same co-op. Now one half of my buyers prefers plan “B”, while the other half still loves the first one (plan “C” is if all else fails). Tonight they will hopefully come to an agreement. In the meantime, I’ve become obnoxiously elusive to the sellers agent who’s impatiently waiting for me to tell him that my buyers will move forward without the contingency. If he weren’t such an arrogant cuss I might feel bad for leaving him hanging but instead I feel quite satisfied. I can only hope that all of the apartments will still be available by the time my buyers make their decision.
What I’ve noticed in this volatile market, where condo-buyers are losing out on their first, second and third choices to all cash buyers and foreign investors, co-op buyers stand a better chance of getting their first choice and having a heck of a lot more options to choose from.
There are several reasons for this. The first being that NYC is 90% co-op so there is that much more inventory. Secondly co-ops typically allow you to finance anywhere between 0%-75% (condos typically allow 90%). That’s a big chunk to put down for most non-cash buyers. Then they need to show that they have about 2 years in reserves between mortgage and maintenance after closing, also a big nut to have squirreled away. Additionally, co-ops are not as attractive to foreign investors due to their strict subletting policies.
As long as a buyer is financially sound, prepared to furnish a mountain of paperwork for board packages, and most of all, willing to be scrutinized by the buildings board of directors, co-ops might just be the way to go. It’s a “slow and steady wins the race” type of mentality I suppose.
Stay tuned…
A few years back I was representing a client who wished to purchase a waterfront property.
I found an elderly lady (85) who said she was interested in selling her cottage. We
Settled on a price and within days I had my client and the seller meet. The seller reneged …
She was not prepared for a buyer to appear so soon. Ahead two years…
I brought the same seller and buyer together and a closing day was set. I arrived at
The attorneys office with buyer in tow at the appointed time. The seller had already
Arrived. We sat opposite the seller and exchanged amenities and buyer stated how
Excited he was about the cottage. The sellers attorney approached and said we
Would now move to the conference room and take care of the paperwork and exchange of funds.
The seller began to cry and stated she didn’t beiieve she could go thru with the sale!
She was now 87 years old. The buyer nearly fainted! Her attorney 20 years her junior sat down beside her and took her hand in his. He very gently told her now was the time to
“Let It” go. Twenty minutes later the buyer left owning his dream property.
Girard Hillary – Northeast PA
Misery Loves Real Estate now has a (very amateur looking) Facebook page. Please click here, “LIKE” and share with your friends.
Thanks!
Agent Voice
Microscopic living or micro living has been getting a lot of press lately since plans for NYC’s new micro-community launched back in January. The 55 modular homes will range between 250 – 370 square feet.
One of the principal designers of nArchitects, the firm that will be designing the capsule-like spaces, said that some of the key features will be high ceilings “to give it a feel of spaciousness” and sliding glass doors opening up to Juliet balconies “so the tenant feels a connection to the city”. The units will also feature 70 cubic feet worth of overhead loft space (think the size of a cars trunk); deep closets and full size kitchens with pull out pantries and fold out counters. The market rents for these units will be around $2000 per month.
So I get that these “micro” apartments are being designed with “tiny” in mind, but what about the hundreds of miniscule residences without the fancy features and hidden storage spaces which already exist in NYC? To me, 250 – 370 sq feet is “normal”. In fact, I just signed a 6 month exclusive to sell a 295 sq ft studio in a pre-war coop in Midtown for almost $300,000. My points is, these microcosms are nothing new, rather just very cleverly marketed, and to be fair, designed.
If you want to talk tiny, two years ago I rented a 150 sq ft apartment to a European client. Her budget was $1400 and her first priority was to live near Lincoln Center. I knew of only one building that had a studio available close to that price. However, the apartment was literally 150 sq ft (!!), and a tad over budget at $1450. I’ve been in closets much larger than this.
Nevertheless I showed her, she loved it and took it on the spot. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never shown an apartment of that size before but that’s besides the point. To her it was perfect, had everything she needed and was a block away from Lincoln Center. She wound up living there for a year and couldn’t have been happier.
Here’s what a 150 sq ft apartment looks like for $1450 per month:
Entry
Kitchen
Living room with loft bed
Bathroom
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Buyer’s remorse is the sense of regret after having made a purchase. It is frequently associated with the purchase of an expensive item such as a car or house. It may stem from fear of making the wrong choice, guilt over extravagance, or a suspicion of having been overly influenced by the seller.[1]
Well, it’s official. After countless meetings, emails and phone calls, my buyers have once again pulled the plug on the second condo they fell in love with in the past four months. I’m beginning to see a pattern here. They have a classic case of buyer’s remorse even without having purchased anything.
When we first started out in April, they wanted only new construction so I showed them eight “new” apartments from Battery Park City to the Upper East side, saving the best one for last. They loved it, we pounced, and contracts were drafted with the promise to be signed by my buyers and returned to the seller’s attorney along with a check for 10% of the purchase price within 5 business days. And boy was there A LOT involved in those 5 days, including but not limited to:
- Answering their dozens of emails,
- Composing spread sheets of neighborhood price trends (as per their request)
- Speaking with their attorney
- Negotiating a storage unit
- Going back to the building for 2nd and 3rd visits (HUGE RED FLAG)
Finally both sides agreed on terms and my buyers planned to sign the contract the next day (the 5th day) . They sent me an email that night just to say how thankful they were for all of my help attaining their dream apartment. Naturally I was pleased and profoundly relieved.
So when they called me the next morning to say they had a change of heart I was gutted, but not totally surprised. Their having to revisit the apartment sent up huge red flags of doubt. They told me, that after further contemplation, the apartment was overpriced (it wasn’t) and the closing costs (which they were aware of from day one) were “just too high”. “So let’s keep looking and focus on pre-construction” they said.
Great.
But then, a week later, they decided they wanted to make a second offer on the same “overpriced” apartment - 300k less then the asking price! I of course knew that the seller would never accept that and told them as much, but by rule, I must present all offers and so I did. As predicted, the seller didn’t counter and guess what – the apartment had signed contracts by another party just days later. They’re still kicking themselves over losing that one.
After taking some time off to regroup, we resumed our search (for pre-construction) and met two weeks ago in the sales gallery of a high-end condominium scheduled to be ready sometime next year. After looking at several floor plans and a model unit, they fell head over heals with one apartment in particular. Knowing how history tends to repeat itself, it was imperative to me that they were truly serious this time, aware of pre-construction risks, closing costs, and ready to commit before making another offer. They assured me they were. Once more contracts were drafted and sent out to their attorney to be signed and returned in 5 business days.
Immediately my buyers started asking a million questions, made dozens of outlandish requests and revisited the building several times. I wasn’t falling for their stalling tactics again and politely told them as much. They quickly confessed that new construction was too risky for them especially since they were going to be financing and the seller wouldn’t agree to a mortgage contingency. Now, don’t get me wrong – I completely understand their concerns. However, we discussed ALL OF THEM before, during and after our meeting where they assured me they understood and were perfectly comfortable with these terms.
Our last options are resales. They’re less risky, have lower closing costs, and perhaps a seller will agree to a mortgage contingency. We’re planning to go out next weekend where we’ll see if “three’s a charm” or if my clients have a chronic case of buyer’s remorse. If so, I might run for the hills.