Buyers Remorse

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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Buyer’s remorse is the sense of regret after having made a purchase. It is frequently associated with the purchase of an expensive item such as a car or house. It may stem from fear of making the wrong choice, guilt over extravagance, or a suspicion of having been overly influenced by the seller.[1]

Well, it’s official. After countless meetings, emails and phone calls, my buyers have once again pulled the plug on the second condo they fell in love with in the past four months. I’m beginning to see a pattern here. They have a classic case of buyer’s remorse even without having purchased anything.

When we first started out in April, they wanted only new construction so I showed them eight “new” apartments from Battery Park City to the Upper East side, saving the best one for last. They loved it,  we pounced, and contracts were drafted with the promise to be signed by my buyers and returned to the seller’s attorney along with a check for 10% of the purchase price within 5 business days. And boy was there A LOT involved in those 5 days, including but not limited to:

  • Answering their dozens of emails,
  • Composing spread sheets of neighborhood price trends (as per their request)
  • Speaking with their attorney
  • Negotiating a storage unit
  • Going back to the building for 2nd and 3rd visits (HUGE RED FLAG)

 

Finally both sides agreed on terms and my buyers planned to sign the contract the next day (the 5th day) . They sent me an email that night just to say how thankful they were for all of my help attaining their dream apartment. Naturally I was pleased and profoundly relieved.

So when they called me the next morning to say they had a change of heart I was gutted, but not totally surprised. Their having to revisit the apartment sent up huge red flags of doubt. They told me, that after further contemplation, the apartment was overpriced (it wasn’t) and the closing costs (which they were aware of from day one) were “just too high”. “So let’s keep looking and focus on pre-construction” they said.

Great.

But then, a week later, they decided they wanted to make a second offer on the same “overpriced” apartment  -  300k less then the asking price! I of course knew that the seller would never accept that and told them as much, but by rule, I must present all offers and so I did. As predicted, the seller didn’t counter and guess what – the apartment had signed contracts by another party just days later. They’re still kicking themselves over losing that one.

After taking some time off to regroup, we resumed our search (for pre-construction) and met two weeks ago in the sales gallery of a high-end condominium scheduled to be ready sometime next year. After looking at several floor plans and a model unit, they fell head over heals with one apartment in particular. Knowing how history tends to repeat itself, it was imperative to me that they were truly serious this time, aware of pre-construction risks, closing costs, and ready to commit before making another offer. They assured me they were. Once more contracts were drafted and sent out to their attorney to be signed and returned in 5 business days.

Immediately my buyers started asking a million questions, made dozens of outlandish requests and revisited the building several times. I wasn’t falling for their stalling tactics again and politely told them as much. They quickly confessed that new construction was too risky for them especially since they were going to be financing and the seller wouldn’t agree to a mortgage contingency. Now, don’t get me wrong – I completely understand their concerns. However, we discussed ALL OF THEM before, during and after our meeting where they assured me they understood and were perfectly comfortable with these terms.

Our last options are resales.  They’re less risky, have lower closing costs, and perhaps a seller will agree to a mortgage contingency. We’re planning to go out next weekend where we’ll see if “three’s a charm” or if my clients have a chronic case of buyer’s remorse.  If so, I might run for the hills.

 

Category: Share, You Can't Make This Stuff Up

When Nature Calls

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ToiletSuccessful Real estate agents are typically attractive, well dressed characters often with inflated egos. Think Annette Bening in American Beauty or the cast of Million Dollar Listing. When you’re in sales, being attractive gives you an advantage over your less attractive counterparts.  Why is this you ask? It simply comes down to sex. According to University of Chicago’s professor, Dr. Dario Maestripieri, from his article in Psychology Today,  “a door-to-door insurance salesman  is better able to sell to customers who find him attractive because the customers will be more likely to buy if they think it will increase their chances to have sex with him”.  

How primal.

But no matter how attractive and sophisticated you are, underneath the shiny clothes we all share the same very basic human functions:

  • Eating
  • Sleeping
  • Shitting

 

Sometimes that last one creeps up on you at the least opportune times…

A couple years back a good friend from my firm and I listed a gorgeous 2 brm triplex in a chic Greenwich Village condo. Our first open house was on a Thursday evening from 5-7p. I had a scheduling conflict at that time so my partner held the open house solo. Everything was going well until approximately 6:30pm when he called me in a panic.

Frantically he explained that while showing the apartment to some prospective buyers he started to feel quite ill. He quickly rushed them out, locked the front door and ran up to the en-suite master bathroom where the call of nature took over. And take over it did. So much so that the state-of-the art commode couldn’t handle the mass and up it went, stopping dangerously close to the edge of the seat.

While I felt for my partner and our precarious situation, I couldn’t help but laugh. I don’t think he’d ever plunged a toilet a day in his life and the thought of doing so was like something out of Fear Factor. Regardless, the clock was ticking. In less then 30 minutes the sellers would be home so he had to get to work.

I stayed on the phone with him like a 911 operator as he plunged his heart out, sloshing malodorous toilet gravy all over the bathroom floor (luckily there were no rugs in there). When it was clear plunging wouldn’t work it was time to wave the white flag of surrender, let every last ounce of ego go, and call the building’s superintendent.

He did, hastily explaining the dire situation to the kind fellow who thankfully came quickly, fixed the toilet, and promised not to tell the owners. My partner tipped him generously, lit a bunch of matches and let out a HUGE sigh of relief.

The sellers came home and never knew any different but it was a humbling experience for my partner to say the least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Category: You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Side Effects of Being an Agent

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If you’re a real estate agent you may experience one or more of the following symptoms:

  • Loss of appetite
  • Loose bowels
  • Constipation
  • Indigestion
  • Head pain
  • Nausea
  • Chest pain
  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia
  • Irritability
  • Dry mouth
  • Excessive sweating
  • Extreme elation followed by severe sadness
  • Unable to follow any conversation that’s not related to your deals
  • Urge to check cell phone every 30 seconds.
  • The red blinking email notifier light on your blackberry causes you post traumatic stress disorder
  • Fantasize about becoming a recluse and moving to a sheep farm in the middle of nowhere.
  • Fantasize about having a career in manual labor i.e. plumber, painter, construction worker, etc.
  • Chronic animosity towards homo sapiens in general
Category: Advice, You Can't Make This Stuff Up

It’s What’s on the Outside That Matters

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I like to keep this blog light. However I can’t not address this miserable, senseless tragedy which unfortunately happens too often in New York City where outdoor space is a highly desired commodity that you pay a premium for. In this case, the young lady paid with her life.

I’ve rented clients apartments in Stonehenge 57. They’re clean, nicely renovated and amply sized by NYC standards. But that’s the interior. What we don’t think about is what’s happening on the outside of these buildings. When you’re living in mid-rises (like this one), skyscrapers, or townhouses often it’s what’s on the outside that really matters and is most often neglected by landlords.

According to ABC news, every five years landlords are supposed to file mandatory inspection reports on the safety of their balconies and terraces and some 800 owners FAILED TO DO SO!” Why? Because it’s a bureaucratic pain in the ass, costly and disruptive. Remember folks, these are landlords with deep pockets so in other words it comes down to being cheap, lazy and grossly irresponsible.

Another neglected exterior issue in pre-war buildings’ like Stonehenge 57 is “brick repointing“. Most pre-war buildings are made of brick and mortar. Every few years landlords are supposed to have them “repointed” (they rarely do). This is the process of renewing the pointing (the external part of mortar joints) in masonry construction. Over time, weathering and decay cause voids in the joints between the bricks allowing the troublesome entrance of water. Water entering through these voids can cause tremendous damage and weakens the building’s exterior.

I had my own experience with repointing years ago when I lived on the 35th floor of a “luxury” rental high-rise in Murray Hill. That summer I traveled to Europe for a week and upon my return found my apartment flooded with 3″ of water, my parquet floors buckled and my rugs and furniture saturated. I was perplexed. How could a 35th floor apartment flood?! Well, while I was away, NY had high winds and rain which came right through the walls of my apartment and several others. We found out later that the landlord never had the building re-pointed as he should have years before. Thankfully no one was hurt, the apartments were eventually repaired and life went on as usual. Tragically that’s not the case for this young woman and her family.

 

 

 

 

Category: Bad News

Priorities

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Taking clients out this Saturday and what’s # 1 on their wish list? Being within 3 blocks of a Chipotle. That’s a first.

Chipotle-Burrito

Chipotle-Burrito

Category: You Can't Make This Stuff Up

Run for the Hills If:

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1. Client named “Christian” signs off with: Christian (very!).
2. You’ve taken client out 3 or more times and each time he/she asks you to have lunch  between or after appointments.
3. Client (unsolicited) buys you clothing at Loehmann’s, gives them to you along with the receipts, then asks to be reimbursed.
4. Before you go out for the first time client tells you they’ve seen at least 55 rentals already.
5. Client tells you you’re their best friend and means it after two outings.
6. You go into contract with the same clients on three different condos in two months and they bail on the eve of  contract signing for each.
7. Client is male, less then 5’5″ tall, and works in finance.
8. Client tells you they have some mental health issues which is why they don’t have a job and are using a guarantor.
9. Client must consult (Staten Island) psychic before she will purchase any apartment on the Upper West side.
10. Client tells you they have no budget and needs a place ASAP. - What they’re really saying is “I have all the time in the world, bad credit, and no money”.

Category: Advice

Know When to Fold ‘em

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Every Wednesday night I tune into Million Dollar listing on Bravo . It’s fun, mindless entertainment. However, because I’m in the business, occasionally I find myself feeling stressed out for the three key players (OK. Louise not so much but for the other two).

For example, on last Wednesday’s episode, Fredrik wed his longtime beau on a private island. While this should have been a blissful time for them, Frederik succumbed to the pressures of trying to sell out his exclusive building, 250 Bowery for record prices. When his fiancee demanded that he put his phone away for the long weekend, I actually started to feel nervous and agitated (which I know is ridiculous) but when you are a real estate agent your smart phone is your first love.   It’s the gadget that’s essential to our livelihood.   So, needless to say,  when the fiancee flung it into the ocean, I actually felt my blood pressure rise. I might’ve even started to sweat.  In the end they celebrated a beautiful wedding, but wouldn’t it have been nice, just for that one weekend, for Frederik not to be the self proclaimed listing machine that he is and just thoroughly enjoy life uninterrupted? Alas, as Gordon Gekko famously once said:  ”Money is a bitch that never sleeps”!

Back in New York, Ryan was dealing with his own set of problems when he agreed to co-list a high-end property for sale with an inexperienced agent.  While he invested his time, money and resources to market the property, his co-agent spent her time fixing her hair and doing her make-up. It all came to a screeching halt when Ryan brought a buyer to the apartment and discovered it full of beds, towels and bathrobe-clad mannequins. Unbeknownst to him, his batty partner had leased it out to a home furnishings company which ultimately led to his firing himself from the listing.

Every now and then we find ourselves in situations like these where we finally have to admit that it’s just not worth it. Whether it’s the pressure of selling out a building, dealing with a difficult client or agent,  when your health and quality of life are suffering then it’s probably time to walk away.

I’ve had a few experiences like these and that episode got me thinking of one in particular…

A few years ago an agent friend from another firm asked me to help her co-list a two bedroom condo that she was having difficulty selling. The apartment was purchased by a wealthy real-estate mogul for his wife (we’ll call Shelly) as a hobby. See, Shelly fancied herself an interior decorator and as soon as she got the keys, wasted no time garnishing it with the gaudiest wall paper, paint, furniture and “fine art”. From ceiling to floor, not one inch of the poor apartment was spared from her fatuous touch. (Think giving a blank sheet of paper and a box of crayons to a 3 year old. The outcome would probably be more attractive then the apartment was). Once Shelly had completed her “master-piece” it was time to sell and move on to her next project. The catch was that she wanted to sell the apartment fully furnished with all the trimmings for 700k over what the price should be!

Never one to back away from a challenge, I agreed.

I spent hundreds of dollars having the apartment re-photographed, on new marketing material and countless hours hosting open houses. When it was clear we weren’t getting any takers, I recommended selling some of the more valuable art and furniture separately and lowering the asking price. Shelly agreed that this was a smart idea so I contacted a gentleman we’ll call Steve from a prominent Soho gallery specializing in the works of Paul Evans, the supposed creator of the precious art.  Steve was eager to see the treasure trove of this artist’s items displayed in the apartment so we made an appointment to meet there the next day. You can imagine his and our disappointment when he gently informed us that none of the pieces were real, rather very good (and probably quite expensive) replicas’ of Paul Evan’s work.

When we delicately broke this news to Shelly she was incensed. Not that she had been ripped off (or caught telling people she owned genuine Paul Evans pieces) but at us and the art dealer. Clearly he must be mistaken! In the end, she refused to drop the price and I politely removed myself from the listing.

 

 

 

Category: You Can't Make This Stuff Up

After 4 months of hard work & waiting, co-op sale approved!!

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fireworks-06

I’ll sleep well tonight.

Category: Brag

Cold Feet

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It seems my downtown buyers are having reservations. If they back out this will be the second time they’ve backed out of signing contracts at the eleventh hour. And so it goes…

Category: Bad News

ALWAYS Make Them Sign Fee Agreements

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French RatIn early June I was contacted by past clients we’ll call Ratatouille (after my favorite French culinary rodent) and his wife Janine.  Janine said that they were expecting a bundle of joy any day and that the lease of their apartment (I rented them 3 years ago) was coming to an end in late August. Therefore it was time to start looking for a larger rental in a more affordable neighborhood.

After congratulating them both on their happy news we made an appointment to go out apartment hunting in early July.  Janine informed me that Ratatouille would be out of town on business but that she was very anxious to sign a lease and would be able to make the decision herself should we find the right place.

I, baby gift in tow, met her as planned.  Because I naively assumed we were on a friendlier level due to our history, I neglected to have her sign a fee agreement which would turn out to be a BIG mistake.

In any case, I showed her several apartments that perfectly fit her criteria. She loved two of them but, of course, couldn’t make the decision on her own (anyone who says they can is lying through their teeth). So we’d have to see them again when her husband was back in town, which happened to be when I was supposed to leave for a long awaited vacation.

Being that these were past clients who I felt an allegiance to, I postponed my trip an extra three days to show them the two apartments that Janine liked and another couple places that had come available in the interim. They ultimately agreed on the same one, and foolishly asked me to make an extremely low offer on their behalf – knowing that there was another one on the table much closer to the asking price. Ratatouille went on to say that even at the lower price, it was still above their budget so he expected me to pay the $700 condo fees should their offer be accepted.  That’s ridiculous on so many levels but mostly because the very well-known international conglomerate who employed him paid all of their moving expenses including application and broker fees. Never the less, I told him that we would cross that bridge only if their offer was accepted; which it wasn’t.

We had seen all there was to see for the time being so I went on my week long trip assuring them I’d continue to email listings and would arrange access to anything they liked.

As promised I combed through listings daily, emailed the good ones to Rat and Janine, and spoke with them on the phone.

Then on the 4th night of my vacation at 10:45 pm, Janine emailed me a link for an apartment she found online, in one of the buildings I showed them, that had just been entered into a public listings database. She asked me if it was “real” and if they could see it the next morning. I immediately emailed the listing agent to find out.

Here is the hilarity that ensued:

from:   info@miserylovesrealestate.com
to:  Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
cc:  Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment

 

 

Hi Janine,

It looks like it just came on the market. I’ve emailed the listing agent just to be sure. What time would you like to see it tomorrow?
Thanks.
from:   Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
to:  info@miserylovesrealestate.com
cc:  Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment

 

Thank you I have emailed other agent yesterday night and we Will visit the apartment tomorrow morning. Thank you.

 

from:   info@miserylovesrealestate.com
to:   Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
cc:  Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment

 

Ok great. Please let him know that I’m your agent and let me know what you think after seeing it. I’m sure you’re going to love it.

 

Several hours went by and then this gem:

from:    Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
to:   info@miserylovesrealestate.com
cc: Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject: Re: Apartment
What do you mean by “agent” as we :
  • found the listing on our own
  • organized the meeting with him directly
  • visited without you?
Thanks
Best,
Rat
from:    info@miserylovesrealestate.com
to:   Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
cc: Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment
Rat,
I am very surprised to hear this from you. The listing was just entered into StreetEasy yesterday and Janine sent it to me last night asking to see it today to which I immediately made the request at 11pm last night. I’ve scoured listings for you and have met you and Janine twice to see apartments, and have been looking several times every day I’ve been away. Although Janine sent this particular listing to me first, I of course would have sent it to by first thing this morning. As far as me not being there, I told you that I would be away through Sunday but would still arrange access.
 
When people ask me for assistance as you have, we’ve spoken many times via email and phone, seen apartments together and have established a mutual sense of trust, in the rare instance I can’t attend a showing, my clients are happy to mention that I’m their agent. That is what I mean by “agent”.

 

from:    Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>
to:   info@miserlovesrealestate.com
cc: Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment
Don’t misunderstand me I agree you have been doing your best to help us out
over the very few visits we did together, and thank you very much for that.My point is just that you have not been involved on this particular
instance and deal.I guess it makes sense that our broker gets the fee when they organize the deal and doesn’t get it when they don’t, sounds like normal business to me. In the same vein, when I contacted you 2 years ago and you found me the
apartment on X Street, you got 100% of the fee after 2 visits and a 5
minute phone call, while the other broker I was working with for 1 month
and with which I had done 25 visits didn’t get a penny, normal business
again and he didn’t happen to be my “agent” on the deal.


from:   info@miserylovesrealestate.com
to:    Ratatouille<Ratatouille@thoughtlesslug.com>,
cc: Janine<Janine@inconsideratehuman.com>
date:  xxxxx
subject:  Re: Apartment

 

Rat,

I respectfully disagree. I  brought Janine to this building last week and showed her an apt there. Furthermore she emailed me the listing asking to set up access.

Your agent from 2 yrs ago never brought you to X Street. It takes a lot of time to comb through listings, getting keys and arranging access so 2 yrs ago there was more work involved then just a 5 min phone call and showing you 5 apartments. I didn’t waste your time and made it easy for you which is why you asked for my assistance again.

Good luck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Naturally Rat and Janine didn’t respond. Nor did the agent who had the listing. Why would he? He didn’t have to split his commission and all he had to do was open the door.

Forget the agent though. I blame myself for not having them sign a fee agreement, although Rat is the kind that would throw a major temper tantrum and in the end it wouldn’t be worth the headache.

However, I really charge them for being inconsiderate, smug, and disappointing. They emailed me a total of 40 times before we even went out on our first appointment, all which I answered diligently, not to mention the several lengthy phone conversations we had. When I rented them their apartment two years ago, I had to show it to them multiple times and when after their lease started, they couldn’t reach the super for something, who did they call in a panic? You guessed it. Me.

Moral of the story: In this business TRUST NO ONE no matter what kind of history you have.

 

Category: Advice
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